I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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