Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
