I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
