Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
