Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
