can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
