I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
It was like getting head from an anaconda
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
