Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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