Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
