wat bout pragnant strippers??
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
