Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
