Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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