My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
