That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
