i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
