How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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