Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
