the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
