She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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