So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
