Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
