the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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