I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I don't deserve a penis
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
