you would pick up someone in the library
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
