You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
i believe in u and ur pee
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
