I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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