I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
