You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
