fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
