At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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