Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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