This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
