I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
