btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
