Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
