i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Randomize
