is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
