um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
