I have demons in me.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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