My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize