Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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