people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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