so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
