Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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