Sry I called you an 8
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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