she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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