i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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