Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
