Kiss
Puke
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
