I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
