i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
