Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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