Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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