My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
