Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
