You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I think we might need a safe word for this...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize