Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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