She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
