my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize